Don’t YOU Wish YOU Can Write ‘The English’ Like Us Sri Lankans Do?

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by Anura Guruge

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>> Maryland 2015 Sinhala New Year.

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Click here to access ‘fairway galle’ Website.

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I was on the prowl for 2105 Sinhala ‘Aluth Aurudu’ (New Year) posts/pictures from Sri Lanka when I stumbled upon this delightful site — because they had a Sinhala New Year cake picture from last year. Then I just happened to see the words.

Aahhhh! Queen’s English the Sri Lankan way. I just wish they had thrown in a few ‘buggers’, or at a minimum one ‘bugger’, in there — because Sri Lankan MALES when talking English insist on punctuating each sentence with at least one ‘bugger’. So if it was being spoken it would go something like: “You Bugger, would you like a home own, you bugger, in Fairway Galle, you bugger?” In Sri Lankan English ‘bugger’ is a throwaway term of endearment. To be referred as ‘bugger’ is to be included, much. 

“Like a home own” is quintessential Sri Lankan English. As is “amidst enhancements bold”. That is actually very powerful and poetic. If not for my scruples on matters such I would love to plagiarize that. I will have to work on variants.

So now you can realize why my English is so fractured and strained. I think in Sri Lankan English BUT try to conform as best as I can, and, as you know, don’t succeed that often.

Well, Happy Easter and Sinhala New Year to all you Buggers. 

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The same site, in a slideshow, has this picture. Just cracked me up (you bugger). So typically Sri Lankan. Shameless and innocent. Yes, this, as far as I recall, has always been a proud National pastime (Sri Lankan buggers known to be a randy bunch) — shamelessly and openly gawking at the foreign tourist. I, alas, haven’t been able to partake in this since the 60s. Those days tourism wasn’t that prevalent and topless was frowned upon (in more than one way). But from what I have heard the Germans, who flock to Sri Lanka for the THREE ‘Ss’ — ‘sun‘, ‘sea‘ (and I can’t, you bugger, remember the third, which might have been ‘sleep’, ‘salt’ or ‘string hoppers), have insisted on their right to bare their boobs. The buggers, hospitable to a fault, acquiesce to please the tourist. So, go to Sri Lanka, the beaches are a delight behold much, and you can bare your boobs and be readily admired by tons of buggers who will stare bold shame none.

Laugh. Life is short. Fun is even shorter. 

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