Tag Archive | Redneck

How ‘Go Topless’ Can Get Misconstrued When It Is Used In The Context Of New Hampshire.

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 ..by Anura Guruge


++++ Do a SEARCH on ‘topless’ for my other posts that mention it >>>>


I go topless most of the Summer and well into the fall. Having grown up in Europe and still being very European (or at least British) at heart I have no problems, whatsoever, with men or women going topless. As far as I am concerned, that Laconia c. 2000, ‘banned’ female flashing during ‘Bike Week’ is very un-American and discriminatory. Given all the man boobs freely on show, I would much prefer to see more delicate and delectable offerings. Going to topless beaches in Europe is just part and parcel of living there. Never had any problems when whoever I was with went topless. As I had been told ‘it is much less conspicuous to be topless than to be covered‘! Plus, as I had discovered, to my cost, they all look the same after the first ten thousand. Cracked me up the first time I went to Waikiki Beach in Hawaii in 1985. All these women going to so, so much trouble to expose as much as they could without going topless. It was hilarious. Just go topless.

Since I stoutly defended my future Queen, Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, during the childish topless flap, I get quite a number of hits when folks are searching the Web for ‘topless’ references.

Today I noticed a new variation that immediately piqued my interest. Folks were falling over themselves doing searches for ‘topless in NH‘. I, being the season cynic I am, knew at once that this was NOT what it appeared to be. Though I would embrace it gladly, I know NH way too well (and I am a Granite State Ambassador (GSA)) to appreciate that it is more than unlikely that we would, in my lifetime, see ladies cavorting topless on Gilford beach. But, I was curios. As soon as I saw that the event was being held in Rumney, the ‘redneck‘ capital of NH, where dentist go to daydream of the untold riches they could have if they could just treat 5% of the residents, the game was up.

Yes, it is topless, and I hope that as with Bike Week there will at least be some surreptitious flashing, if not topless in topless. Here, this gives the game away. Enjoy.

topless

We (By That I Mean ‘The World’) Is Running Low On Helium.

Anura Guruge, laughing, picture November 16, 2011.

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by Anura Guruge


This is not a joke, a fallacy, a fabrication or a scare tactic. This is a fact; it is indeed true.

I had no idea, had never given it any thought. Never really had even thought about where we get Helium (though I was fairly sure that we didn’t get it from trees or cows).

I have since found out that Helium (He), a noble, inert gas, is the 2nd most abundant element in the known Universe (~24%) — Hydrogen, of course, the most abundant. But, it is expensive to extract and we are using a lot of it — most of it frivolously in balloons and I am one of the culprits.

I learned of the shortage, the hard way, to my cost. The theme for Teischan’s 6th birthday, on March 22, 2012, was unicorns. So Deanna ordered a big, inflatable Mylar unicorn head balloon from the Web. I also typically get about 20 helium latex balloons for her birthday from the Alton Hannaford’s. Getting balloons from Hannaford’s had never been a problem. So on my task list for the day, the balloons were not a red letter item. I was going to pick them up, ‘at the last minute’, on my last trip out to get things. On one of my earlier trips of the day to Hannaford I ordered the 20 balloons. In the scheme of things they don’t cost that much. Basically quite affordable. So, about 2 hours before the party was to start I roll up to Hannaford to pick up the 20 balloons and get the unicorn blown up.

The lady at the counter, who kind of knew me because Hannaford’s is my second home in Alton, started shouting at me! I was taken back. Usually strange women don’t shout at me; it is always women that know me, and know me well, that scream and shout at me. My crime was that I wanted the unicorn balloon inflated with Helium. ‘Don’t you KNOW that there is a shortage? I don’t think we can fill it for our standard price. It is a big balloon‘. I was taken aback. If it was just a matter of price, I would have, as ever, coughed up. So, this lady, now red in the face, and extremely agitated shouts: ‘I have to make a phone call. I want to talk to the manager‘. Man or more to the point WOMAN! She was carrying on like I had committed a crime. She calls up the manager. He/she was at lunch. To be fair the poor lady was conflicted. She just did not think that Hannaford should charge the standard rate, which I think was like $1.80, to inflate that unicorn. She wanted to charge me more.

Bottom line, she was overridden by the manager — though I ended up waiting 40 minutes to get the unicorn upright. Hannaford is a big Belgium corporation. They have policies. You can’t arbitrarily charge more for a big balloon. But, this lady had a point. She was right. I looked it up as soon as I got home. There is a Helium shortage. Helium prices have doubled over the last 7 years and they will double again in the next 2 years. Yes, Hannaford’s will raise Helium prices. [I had been told by an Hannaford employee that they were ‘British’ owned. Actually they are owned by a Belgium multinational. But, I can see the confusion. She knew it was a European country that started with a ‘B’ — and ‘British’ is better known.]

We really should stop using Helium for party balloons. I have cut back. Here are two articles that will explain why we have a shortage and why we will eventually (like in the next 50 years) run out: article from Popular Mechanics & article two from a Fox news station.

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