Tag Archive | Joke

Having Genuine Google Doodle, For Dame Jean Macnamara, On ‘April 1’, Was Stupid!

by Anura Guruge



Yes, I know it was her birthday — after I looked her up. She is by no means a household name — and I suspect that that is even the case in her how country of Australia.

So, what was Google THINKING?

Yes, Google as we all know has a long and storied history of doing clever April 1st jokes.

Yes, we all know about the ongoing pandemic. Yes, I worked out that Google MIGHT refrain from joking around this year — given the gravity of the situation.

So, it would have been BEST not to do ANYTHING.

Do the Google Doodle for her the next day. That would have been better.

This was STUPID — Google.

Say it after I. “This was STUPID Google”.


Related Posts:
Check Category ‘Google Doodle’.


by Anura Guruge

‘Garmin’ Support Provides Insights Into ‘UltraTrac’ GPS Mode.

by Anura Guruge


Click to ENLARGE and read. Received on my Twitter account.


They were responding to THIS post.

Click image to access post.


What it says about ‘UltraTrac’ in the
Fenix 5 Plus Owner’s Manual.

Click image to ENLARGE.


There is NO mention in the Owner’s Manual about pre-calibrating or that it is designed for longer than marathon distances.

I triple checked.

Plus, I have used GPS on this ‘course’ at least 100 times!

The problem, as I see it, is the same as that with open water swimming. The gyro dead reckoning is dead wrong.

Here is my response to Garmin.

Click to ENLARGE.


Related Posts:
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by Anura Guruge

‘Garmin’ ‘UltraTrac’ GPS Distance Measurement Is A Cruel Joke.

by Anura Guruge


Click to ENLARGE and be shocked.


Click to access my 2018 post.


I am shocked and appalled! This is NOT RIGHT. UltraTrac can’t be this bad — but it is.

That 0.44 mile walk was from Wednesday, April 17, 2019 — my first day off crutches in 6-weeks after my knee surgery. My first walk in 6-weeks. As I am walking I realize that the GPS distance is off — way off. But, I persevered. Today, 2-days later I clocked the distance of just a part of that walk using my car. Just that section came to 0.4 miles and I didn’t even bother driving half of the ‘course’.

This is stupid. Same problem that Garmin has with open water swimming.

There really should not be an issue. It should be able to compute the distance between the GPS reading. It, with my Garmin Fenix 5 Plus, even has the gyroscope to tell it which way I was headed. Very disappointed.

Did a Google on ‘UltraTac’. This is a known and COMMON problem. I am amazed that Garmin hasn’t bothered to fix it.

So, heads-up. Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, use UltraTac. It is a joke.


Related Posts:
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by Anura Guruge

Editors Sleep At The Wheel — This Time “Laconia Daily Sun”.

by Anura Guruge


Click here to access the original … from their Website.


I know it sounds good and you know what they are trying to get at, BUT if you think about it, it is inane.

Humans have to be in someway involved.

We don’t talk about ours cars being ‘robot made’.

But, in the case of submarines there is a LOT of actual manual labor.

So, this was a rather stupid headline in the end.

So, yesterday, a very sick joke or a horrendous typo, and today this — albeit in two different local papers.


Related Posts:
Search ‘Laconia’.


by Anura Guruge

A Very Sick Joke Or A Horrendous Typo.

by Anura Guruge


Click to ENLARGE and read here. Check TOP for when it was published. Use link below to access the original.

Click here to access the original … from their Website.


Click to ENLARGE. Read and note CAREFULLY.


This, as you can clearly see from the top image, was in the Thursday, September 6, 2018, issue of ‘The Baysider‘.

Given that our Braxton is a beagle-on-steroids I kind of felt a kinship. I know that beagles can roam and that we have been lucky with Braxton — though much of that has to do with me tiring him out with regular 3.4+ mile runs.

So, I was THINKING about going and looking for this lost beagle. I was going to go into the woods.

So, I wanted to see how long it had been missing. What I saw — which you can too — blew me AWAY.

May 10, 2005.

WTF?

If somebody stole it, it would not be alive as yet. That was 13-years ago and that looks like a 2-year old Beagle. So, it would be 15-years old. Lifespan of a Beagle is 12 – 15 years. So, this is BIT late to be offering a reward for a Beagle that went missing 13-years ago!

Typo? But, BOTH May & the year.

This is sick …

If it is a TYPO, not unknown in the ‘The Baysider’, ‘they’ have surpassed themselves.

But, I have a hunch that this is a joke. Why?

Because we also have the “or write”! This is 2018 (not 2005). They provide an e-mail & a phone number and then say … WRITE … but give no last name.

Strange and maybe very sick.


Braxton, our Harrier.

Related Posts:
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by Anura Guruge

Walmart ‘Vision Center’ Is But A Pathetic Joke — 11-Days And No Sign Of My $189 Glasses!

by Anura Guruge



I have had fairly decent luck with ‘Vision Center‘ in the past — though I have never ordered any glasses for myself from them until 11 (bloody) days ago.

I went to them because they are conveniently located and are supposed to have decent prices. At $189 I don’t really think that they were that ‘inexpensive’. But, I would NOT have cared about the price if I had them within the 10 days they ‘promise’.

I ordered them on Friday, April 14, 2017.

I called them last Friday and they said I would have them today, Tuesday, April 25, 2017.

I made plans to go by Walmart this evening to pick them up. BUT, since I did not get a phone call I called just to be on the safe side.

They do NOT have them and have NO IDEA as to when I might have them.

Bloody Walmart.

I so often regret doing anything with Walmart OTHER than buying stuff that is available on display.

So a heads up.


Related Posts:
>>>>
Search on ‘Walmart’ for other related posts >>>>
++++ Check Category ‘Rants’ for other related posts >>>>


by Anura Guruge

‘The Ticket’ (2015) Movie: Predictable But Sobering, Modern Day, Non-Religious Parable That Wasn’t All That Great.

by Anura Guruge


Click image to access IMDb.com listing.


We watched it, without knowing ANYTHING about it, because I mistook the actor on the ‘poster’ (shown above) for ‘Matthew’ from ‘Downton Abbey‘.

He is NOT ‘Matthew’ but he does, on occasion, bear an uncanny resemblance.

This is NOT a ‘B-movie’. If anything it is like a D-movie.

Slightly interesting story BUT extremely predictable. You knew what would happen in the end, though you hoped they wouldn’t subject you to it.

Slightly sobering and it does carry a message.

I was worried it was going to a ‘God movie’. It wasn’t, though God does get mentioned.

The title refers to a fairly well-known ‘joke’ THOUGH I can say it better!

Not recommending it. Just documenting it because I did watch it.


Related posts:
>> Hidden Figures.
>> Lion.

++++ Search on ‘movie’ for many, many related posts >>>>


by Anura Guruge


In Honor Of Dr. Heimlich’s Passing — My Favorite Heimlich Maneuver Story.

by Anura Guruge


heimlich


This is a true story.

Popular restaurant on the outskirts of Houston, Texas — November 1987.

A young couple, out for the night, are enjoying a romantic dinner. She had ordered a steak, medium rare, and was tucking into. A boyfriend was busy courting her.

Suddenly she starts choking on a piece of steak.

The whole restaurant goes quiet. Nobody moves. She is choking away.

Two cowboys, both wearing hats, are eating at a nearby table.

One of them slowly gets up. Pushes his chair away. Takes off his hat and leaves it on the table.

Then he purposefully, like real cowboys do, walks up to the choking girl. She is now in quite a bit of distress and starting to turn blue.

He walks up behind her. Doesn’t say a word. Puts his hands under her armpits and yanks her up.

Everybody heaves a sigh of relief.

The cowboy, brusquely, pushes her chair away with his left foot.

He then falls to his knees behind the still choking girl.

What he does next was a total surprise to all.

He yanks up the girl’s skirt and rips off her panties.

There is an audible gasp from the diners.

Then he starts to lick the girl’s naked behind.

She is so shocked, embarrassed and amazed that she spits out the lodged piece of steak.

Wow.

She can breathe again and she does.

Though still bemused by what they have seen everybody bursts into applause.

The cowboy gets up.The girl brushes down her skirt.

The cowboy, with a sheepish grin, waits for the applause to die down.

He then clears his throat and says in a drawl: “that HIND LICK maneuver always works“.

Boom. Boom. {SMILE}


Related posts:
++++ Check Category ‘Humor for many other similar posts >>>>


by Anura Guruge

Amazon’s Wi-Fi “Press To Order” ‘DASH’ Buttons Are Real — No April Fool’s Joke (Now 100+)

by Anura Guruge


amazondashbuttonsetup

It has Wi-Fi inside. Wi-Fi setup using an Android or iOS APP. Neat.


amazondashbuttonwifi

Amazon’s explanation as to how it works. It is there with each DASH button. Click to ENLARGE and study here.


amazondashbuttons

Click to ENLARGE and goggle. Copy this short URL to access Amazon page: goo.gl/KFq1uu


amazondashtrojanAmazon, intentionally or otherwise, announced these DASH buttons on March 31, 2015 — just ahead of April Fool’s Day. So many, including I, thought that it was meant to be an April Fool’s joke.

Not so. Appears that Amazon is very serious about them. Cute and clever. Makes sense. Not that we would ever need any. We are kind of better organized. But I have no issues with them, especially as an Amazon shareholder. Very innovative.

The DASH buttons are FREE after the 1st order. Yes, you get the $4.95 back when you click the button for the 1st time. How can YOU lose?

Way to go AMAZON. Am I glad I own Amazon shares? You betcha.

Now if they would combine Trojan orders with same day Drone delivery AMZN shares will get to $1,000/share.


by Anura Guruge


Tennis Pros, Male & Female, Have DIFFERENT Balls — This Is NO April Fool’s Joke.

by Anura Guruge


From the March 29, 2016, U.K. “Daily Mail”
(which I read every morning).

Click here for the original U.K. “Daily Mail” article.

Click images to ENLARGE and enjoy here.


30M_TENNIS BALLS


As far as I can tell this is NOT a premature April Fool’s prank. This was posted 3 days ahead of the BIG day.

Who would have thought. Wow.

Though I can write books about orgasms and talk freely about vaginas, I must confess that it feels strange to be talking about FUZZ of men’s balls! That women’s fuzz should be more delicate I have no doubt. SMILE.

More than likely I will get shouted for this post BUT I had to say something. SMILE.


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++++ Search on ‘balls for many other posts >>>>


by Anura Guruge

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