Oh How I Wish Janet Yellen Was On A Testosterone Boosting Regime.

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by Anura Guruge

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Don’t get me wrong, I like Janet Yellen and was totally supportive of her replacing Dear Ben as the Federal Reserve Chairperson. What is there not to like about her?

BUT after yesterday’s momentous decision by the Fed’s NOT to raise the Fed Interest Rate I just wish she had more testosterone in her system. What we saw yesterday is the, rightly, much vaunted trait of females not to be as aggressive, confrontational and ‘in your face’. BUT in this case that is really what we needed. We needed Janet to be a Margaret Thatcher or my Aunty Bandaranaike — strong female leaders that were willing to make hard decisions.

We need to get this interest rate fiasco out of the way!

To be honest it bothers me NOWT! As somebody with an incurable addiction to option trading I LOVE the market volatility. Large market swings make me smile all day — not that I am not smiling most of the time anyway. I just feel bad for those that just ride the market and watch helpless when their IRA goes down. I just heard on CNBC this morning, bamboo stake up his derrière, “I tell God what to think every morning”, Ken ‘pompous’ Langone, bemoan how the ‘zero’ interest rates are crippling retirees on a ‘fixed income’. I had to laugh. Typical of bloody Langone. Clueless. I am retired BUT I wish my income was ‘fixed’. SMILE. Never understood that expression. “Fixed Income”. If you are salaried aren’t you also on a ‘fixed income’? Well, what can I say?

This interest rate ‘fear’ is such a joke. 0.25% or even 1% Fed interest rates are NOT going to kill anyone. They will, as CNBC correctly points out, NORMALIZE matters — and the markets — and GET one unnecessary Ken Langone like gorilla ‘out of the room’.

So PLEASE Janet go get some shots. Lets raise this damn rate SOON — definitely before Christmas. PLEASE let us NOT go into 2016 with this hanging over the market.

I just do NOT know whether I could tolerate that much FUN!

Janet, I am sure your Health Insurance will cover the costs of the shots. If NOT I will, on behalf of the entire World, gladly pay for them.