IF Sri Lanka Stupidly Decides To Leave THE Commonwealth I Will Start Claiming, Horrors Of Horrors, That I Am Southern Indian!
by Anura Guruge
‘Sri Lanka’ & ‘Ceylon’ or check Category for other posts >>>>
Sometime last month Gambia, a tinpot nation in West Africa left the Commonwealth of Nations, i.e., MY Commonwealth, i.e, THE BRITISH Commonwealth. I heard about and it didn’t bother me a jot. Who has even heard of Gambia? Gambia doesn’t count. My honest reaction was, and true to form it was a good ol’ Commonwealth expression, ‘GROBR‘ — Good Riddance of Bad Rubbish. (Does it sometimes show that I used to be a rabid conservative WAY to the RIGHT of Margaret Thatcher?)
Well, now, supposedly inspired and emboldened by Gambia’s irrelevant (not to say irreverent) move the always MISGUIDED anti-British faction in Sri Lanka are jabbering about Sri Lanka leaving THE Commonwealth.
Sri Lanka Better Not.
As far as I am concerned it is the British what made us what we are today: for the better or the worse. Yes, I was born 5 years after Independence. But, I always knew on which side my bread was buttered (with butter from the Commonwealth).
If nothing else they gave us a superb, democratic parliamentary system. That is why we had the world’s FIRST FEMALE PRIME MINISTER. Without the British Sri Lankan women would still be confined to the kitchen. They also gave us a great education system, though I am not a great example, I am still thankful that my initial education was in Ceylon in what was a very British system. And we still have a wonderful railway system.
Without the British we would never have had CRICKET. If Sri Lanka leaves the Commonwealth I will lobby the ICC, daily, to expel Sri Lanka from the ICC. I think most Sri Lankan males like cricket even more than they like sex — and obviously they must like their sex given our through-the-bloody-roof population growth.
I get daily e-mail articles from the Sri Lanka’s equivalent of Ann Coulter, though I am sure that she is not blonde and probably nowhere near as semi-attractive as the vampish Coulter — which alone is saying something. This woman is something else. I send ranting e-mails back to her but she won’t take my bait. I am sure I know what her root problem is. She sure doesn’t subscribe to my ‘an “O”-a-day keeps the doctor away’. She wants Sri Lanka to leave the Commonwealth. I had another e-mail from her to that effect this morning. I nearly choked on my coffee.
So, I hope I made my feelings clear. IF Sri Lanka leaves the Commonwealth I will no longer be from Sri Lanka. I am not sure whether I am physically capable of ever saying I am Indian. That might kill me. So, I might have to say that I am Bangladeshi. That would be easier. That I now have final confirmation, of something I have kind of always knew, makes all of this that much easier. I am adopted. So, I am not a Sri Lanka citizen and I am adopted to boot. So, what the heck.
OH! Sri Lanka is hosting the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting (CHOGM) next month. First time SL is doing so. So, this is the reason, in addition to stupid Gambia, that all this anti-Commonwealth garbage is being uttered by ignorant folks. Yes, it is true that SL in turn is getting abuse from the so-called Commonwealth White-Nations for its supposed human rights violations. Please give me a break. There was a civil war for 30 years.