Archive | October 13, 2013

More Must-Have Christmas Presents For The Winnipesaukee Rich By Hammacher Schlemmer.

Anura Guruge, June 8, 2013.

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..by Anura Guruge


Why they keep on sending me e-mails, now on a near daily basis, and the printed catalog totally bemuses me. I am way, way, way outside of their target demographics. This is a rich person’s catalog and I am certifiably poor. Yes, a couple of years ago, I did order a Christmas present from the catalog, a hand-crank, slot racing kit — but Deanna returned it. So, I haven’t spent any money with them. I won’t tell you what this catalog is called around here, in case some of you, with misguided zealousness, accuse us of ‘something’ — though we are not that.


Click to go to product listing at H-S.

Click to go to product listing at H-S.

Just $200,000. So, yes, my neighbors around here in Alton could get a few. But, this car does NOT have any appeal to me. Batman never did anything for me, ever, even when I was a kid. Though I was probably was too young to articulate it, I think I must have, even then, thought that there was something disturbingly, limp-wrist, effeminate about that masked imposter. This car proves the point. Cries out: phallic. 


hs2013xc2

This does appeal to me, though I would NOT drink a bottle of wine, on my own, anymore! Now I only drink wine for medicinal purposes; glass of red wine a day, rain or shine, whether I need it or not, but diluted.


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I got this on e-mail and it cracked me up. Just struck me that something was missing on this 7′, $32,000, yet again very PHALLIC, object — yes, a detachable power tool attachment, especially for the ladies. IF I had designed this, where I marked it with the white box, I would have an opening — for a power hitch, where you could attach accessories of your choice. I can then see it motoring around …. Come on. You have to admit that that would be funny. But, would be hard to explain to the kids.


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